Friday saw a debut appearance for Mr Andrews from the Maths Department who stepped in last minute for an absent Kyle Ferguson. He was paired up with Cameron Pinder in their fixture against Joe Napier and Bradley Harcup. Coaching was given. Instructions were said. Up stepped Mr Andrews to bowl his first wood…
Well… all I can say is that when Mr Andrews has a bowl in his hand and he steps onto the mat, a strange occurrence happens! His biceps, triceps and quadriceps enlarge, his skin turns green, his shirt rips, and he reveals his true identity as The Hulk!
The Hulk ? Mr Andrews ?
“Kids! Run for your lives! Take cover!” was the cry as Mr Andrews unleashed what can only be described as an exocet missile direct at the game being played on the adjacent rink! Fionn leapt to safety as the bowl whizzed past Owen’s ankle inches from leaving him unable to ever walk again. However, on our rink, Joe Napier didn’t mind. This was his chance to beat a top-class sportsman. Whilst Joe stepped up to bowl a second wood in the head I quickly read the Health and Safety Manual, Bowls Risk Assessments, a list of careers usually taken up by ex-teachers, and checked that my Will was up to date and in place, and then reluctantly invited “The Hulk” to play his next shot. BOOM! This time the bowl was ever so slightly more direct, and yet heavier than his first. The sound of the bowl leaving his hand was reminiscent of the days when Concorde use to take-off from Heathrow at 7pm…
Needless to say, Mr Andrews, although an absolute genius with a rugby ball, has a long way to go before he gets invited by the club to bowl again! And if he does parents will be required to sign a waiver to allow their son’s to play.
All this did was to stir up his playing partner Cameron, who realised after the first end that if he was going to win it was solely down to him, and Cameron was truly excellent the whole game. Time and time again he was on the jack, much to the annoyance of Joe, and much to the relief of Mr Andrews. On one end, Mr Andrews managed to bowl a fairly respectable wood. He even took a photo of it (below)! Cameron and Mr Andrews eventually won the game 6-2.
The other two match ups saw Charles Wallace and Jack Whalley take on Louisa and Kira, and Fionn O’Neil and Owen Davies take on Katie and Simran, but more importantly this was an opportunity for The Windsor Boys’ School to take a commanding lead against Newlands Girls’ School in the battle of the schools! Maybe it was the pressure of the “Sir Alex Ferguson” styled team talk before the game, or the constant need to run for cover every time Mr Andrews stepped up to bowl on the adjacent rink, but the boys just didn’t play to their strengths and succumbed to a double defeat at the hands of a well drilled Newlands Girls’ School. The score is now 6½ - 4½ to the girls school, and with only 4 games left to play we need a miracle!
At least the League table has a pair from The Windsor Boys’ School on top.
Next Friday sees Kyle and Cameron take on Katie and Simran whilst Fionn and Owen take on top seeds Louisa and Kira. With the league table looking so close and with a potential visit from Barry Dillon the Team Manager for the Berkshire County U-25’s squad, there is much to play for, and whilst the silversmith can be heard crafting “The Windsor Boys’ School Open Pairs Indoor Bowls Tournament” winner’s trophy he cannot be heard etching a name on it just yet.
Mr D Smith